Learning to love yourself and increasing your self-confidence can be hard work. But it doesn’t have to be. With the right strategies, you can learn how to make peace with whom you are, accept your flaws, and value yourself more highly. You can discover how to love yourself and be confident.
God created you, and He loves you. He is confident that you have all what it takes. He placed it in you.
You might not appreciate who you are right now, but that’s not the end. You can learn to build self-confidence and love yourself. Not being happy with whom you are, interferes with your total well-being. It’s a common negative trait that affects many of us. You are not alone!
Not liking yourself can cause a lack of self-confidence. It may reduce your ability to take risks and enjoy life. Learning to like and love yourself increases your self-confidence and helps you reach your goals. Self love is okay—and achievable by taking some easy steps.
It is possible to change your life, learn to love yourself, and be happy. This will help you live a fulfilling life with meaningful relationships. In this blog are 14 easy ways to learn to love yourself and be confident.
How can I build confidence and love myself?
Building confidence and learning the art of self-love starts with our mindset. We have developed a negative mindset over time because of negative experiences, negative self-talk, and negative comments of others.
If you want to learn how to love yourself and be confident, you start with dealing with your mind. Low self-confidence and not liking yourself take place in your mind. It isn’t a reflection of who you really are.
You don’t have to accept living with low self-confidence or not-liking yourself. God loves you. So can you. There are various ways to improve on your self-love and build your self-confidence. It all starts with your mind.
How can I train my mind to love myself?
Our minds are the battleground to loving ourselves. The way we use our minds determines whether we will be happy and confident or depressed and full of self-doubt. Before we take any other step to become more confident and start loving ourselves, we first need to deal with our minds.
God gave us a spirit, a soul, and a body. Our minds are part of our soul. In Romans 12 verse 2, Paul says that the renewing of our minds will transform us. We do that first by studying God’s Word and spending time in fellowship with God.
Next, we can do some practical exercises to train our minds. One of those is learning to have self-compassion. Self-compassion is a powerful tool for finding self-love. Instead of beating yourself up with negative inner dialogue, practice being kind and gentle towards yourself even when you make mistakes or fail.
Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and that struggling is part of life. Nobody on this planet earth is flawless. Don’t focus on your faults (apart from learning from them), but pay attention to everything you do well.
It is vital to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment. God does not judge you. Why would you judge yourself? Then replace them with positive affirmations.
Create positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive statements to help you challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts. They are almost as easy to define as they are to practice.
Exercising positive affirmations can be extremely simple, and all you need to do is pick a phrase and repeat it to yourself.
15 Examples of self-love and confidence affirmations
- I can do it
- I am beautiful
- God made me able
- I am loved
- I am confident
- I am strong
- I am forgiven
- I am getting better and better every day
- All I need is within me right now
- Today is a phenomenal day
- I am grateful for everything I have in my life
- I am independent and self-sufficient
- I accept myself for who I am
- I have made mistakes, but they don’t define me
- Happiness is a choice, and today I choose to be happy
What are the 4 ways to love yourself?
Self-love and self-confidence are interlinked. You cannot have confidence in yourself and not love yourself. Or love yourself and not be confident in who you are.
Learning how to love yourself will automatically build your confidence level.
1. Prioritize yourself in all areas of life
Learning to love yourself and finding your confidence starts with making sure you give yourself permission to rest and focus on what matters the most. Self-care is essential to boost self-love, so invest in healthy habits like getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, spending time with God each day, and eating healthily.
While exercising and eating healthy is essential for your well-being, you also must feel good about who you are on the outside. This could mean taking care of your appearance and dressing in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Set aside designated leisure or ‘me-time’ for activities that make you feel good about yourself, such as taking up a new hobby or exploring creative outlets like painting and writing. This will also help you build a stronger relationship with yourself and create balance in all aspects of life.
Life balance is vital to being confident and loving yourself.
2. Celebrate your achievements
Another way to boost your self-love and self-confidence is to celebrate even the smallest of accomplishments. Whether it’s meeting a goal or completing a task, praise yourself for your hard work.
Feeling good about yourself and being aware of all that you have accomplished will help increase your self-esteem. Writing triumphs in a journal can be especially helpful, as it’s easy to forget all we have accomplished when life gets hectic.
When you find it more difficult to see the good things in life and may doubt yourself, pick your journal and go through your achievements and celebrate yourself again. Allow your past successes to ignite hope for your future and then step out in confidence.
3. Reflect on your strengths
When you don’t like yourself, you might focus on your weaknesses and shortcomings. Shifting your thought process and thinking about your strengths can make you feel better and more confident. Learning to love yourself means recognizing and being proud of your achievements.
Each day, take time to think about all the unique strengths and talents that make you who you are. Celebrate those wins – even if they’re small – by writing it down or treating yourself to a reward.
This will help you reinforce positive thoughts about yourself and see how much progress you’ve made so far!
4. Express gratitude for who you are
Practicing gratitude by embracing your God-given gifts, abilities, and life itself can help you learn to appreciate yourself. It allows you to focus on the positive aspects of your life rather than thinking of things you wish were different.
You can think of all the small ways you take care of yourself each day that you may take for granted. Thank yourself for moving your body today, feeding yourself, going to work, watering your plants, making your bed, etc.
You do more than you realize, and it’s worth taking a second to thank yourself for everything you do.
Try to notice at least one beautiful, small thing around you every single day. Make note of it and be grateful for it. Gratitude not only gives you perspective, it’s essential to help you find happiness.
By practicing these 4 ways to love yourself, you will create lasting change. A change that eventually will lead to being more confident in yourself.
What is the best way to build self-confidence?
Building confidence takes time and you will need to take more than one action step. Start by telling yourself that you can do it, you will make it. Then, step by step, teach yourself (by practicing little by little) to build confidence.
There are many things you can do to become more confident and love yourself more each day. You could take several steps at once or tackle one at a time. Building a new habit takes an average of 30 days. Don’t get discouraged or give up if you don’t see results at once.
And if you fall back into self-doubt, get up and continue taking steps.
14 Ways to increase self-confidence
Here are 14 achievable ways to improve your confidence level. You can apply them one at a time, or embrace all and take little steps in each category.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others often leads to not loving yourself and can diminish your self-confidence. God created you unique. There is no one like you. What’s the point of comparing? Focus on yourself and your journey here on earth. You are here for a reason, a God-given reason.
2. Limit social media scrolling
Social media usually shows the best of people (if not even plain lies). If you compare yourself with ‘them’, you compare your reality to their lie. Limit usage of social media and if you use it, distance yourself from it internally. Remind yourself that often posts are not true or edited. As well as the ones who ‘made it’, may be far ahead in their journey of growth. You will get there as well. Be patient with yourself.
3. Don’t worry about people’s opinions
In that same vein, don’t worry about what others think or expect of you. You can’t make everyone happy. Think about God’s opinion, and align yours with it.
4. Confront your fears and worries
It’s impossible to be happy and fulfilled when you are constantly worrying about your future. First, remember yourself that God’s plans for you are good—to give you hope and a future. Second, allow yourself to face your anxiety, rather than hiding from it. This is incredibly helpful in managing stress and increasing self-confidence.
Make a list of all the things you fear or worry about in life—then come up with an actionable plan for each one. Steps like these may start small but will help boost your confidence down the road.
Find a Bible verse to confront each of the fears you wrote. God’s Word is alive and powerful—it will help you overcome your fears and to gain self-confidence and self-love.
5. Allow yourself to make mistakes
None of us are perfect. Only God is. Nevertheless, you can experience internal and external pressure never to fail. But making mistakes is not wrong. Get up, learn from them, and go on.
You’re constantly growing from who you once were into who you are today and who you will be one day. Forget about that inner critic that says you need to be perfect. Make mistakes and don’t beat yourself up afterward. The lessons you’ll gain are priceless.
6. Let go of toxic people
Have an assessment of the people in your life—who are draining your energy and who increase your happiness? If some of them bring toxicity into your life, you may need to step away from them. Don’t be afraid to do this. It’s liberating and important, even though it may be painful.
7. Surround yourself with positive people
Strengthen your positive relationships and look how you can add on to your friends circle. Focus on the people who understand you, support you, and want the best for you.
8. Trust yourself to make excellent decisions
Often, we doubt ourselves and our ability to do what’s right, when most of the time we know in our hearts what’s best. We have the Holy Spirit guiding us from deep within; we have God’s Word guiding us.
9. Put yourself first
Don’t feel bad about putting yourself first. Women, especially, can grow accustomed to putting others first. Although there’s a time and a place for this, it shouldn’t be a habit that costs you your mental or emotional well-being.
10. Act confident when you don’t feel it
Get into the habit of speaking your mind. Confidence is like a muscle—it grows the more you exercise it. Don’t wait for permission to take a seat at the table. Join the conversation. Contribute your thoughts. Take action, and know that your voice is just as important as anyone else’s. Even if you don’t feel it, you can do it. Do it afraid!
11. Be kind to yourself
The world is full of critique and harsh words—don’t add yours to the mix. Speak kindly to and about yourself. You’ve come so far and grown so much. Celebrate yourself. God loves you and He loves you exactly how you are.
12. Be kind to others
The Bible says we should love others as ourselves. Interestingly, it boosts our happiness and confidence when we are kind to others. Acts of kindness can improve your self-confidence because you’ll feel like a kind and generous person and you are obeying God’s Word.
13. Think positive
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Take this one at a time. It increases your self-confidence and eventually helps you feel better about who you are.
Don’t focus on past negative or traumatic events, or things people have said to and about you. Think about the future and the plans God has for you.
14. Set goals that are small and achievable
Achieving goals will make you feel better about yourself and help you learn to like who you are. It helps you set you up for future success as you know you can achieve your goals. This increases your self-confidence, step by step, achievement by achievement.
You can set small, achievable goals at the start. Each time you reach your goal, increase what you wish to achieve next. Progressing in increments is powerful. It keeps you motivated and increases your confidence while teaching you to love yourself.
With God’s help, you will be able to apply all steps to build your confidence level and love yourself and be happy. It is part of your personal growth journey.
Be patient with yourself. Learning to love yourself will not happen overnight. But with time, it will settle itself into your heart and you will live a happy life. Confident of who you are.
If at times it doesn’t work out as you expected, take a break and reflect on all the wonderful moments and positive steps you have taken already. Celebrate yourself and your achievements, even if they are little in your eyes.
Each of those acts were stepping stones on your journey of loving yourself and being more confident.
Christel Owoo is a professional Life Coach, passionate about helping women gain confidence.
Do you want to gain confidence in life and live fully in your God-given potential?
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